If you know just what that statement means and feels like I am truly sorry for you. But I am here to tell you what happens after is the biggest blessing, at least for me that’s how it happened...
Being burned by people you trusted, people you’ve worshiped with, and people you’ve truly cared for is NOT easy. Unfortunately, I had to experience that for myself. I was going to a church that I truly loved and loved being a part of. But in the mix of a breakup, and in the mix of people within the church being involved within that, it all changed. Suddenly I couldn’t go back to a place I loved being part of. I couldn’t go back and look people in the eye who had treated me with so much disrespect, and I couldn’t bear the thought of sitting in the pew and worship with them and have to act like nothing had even happened. So... then it came down to me not wanting to go to church. I didn’t like the idea of having to start all over again in a new church, with the constant anxiety and fear taking over in me. One morning I woke up just bawling my eyes out with such a heavy heart and didn’t even know why… I then continued my morning routine like every other day, and then all of a sudden, a song came on my radio that was totally different than what I even was listening too at the time and it was “I Raise A Hallelujah/Hallelujah” by Caleb + Kelsey. I had realized I was really as far away from God as I had ever been. I listened to the lyrics as I just sat there and cried. In the song it sings “I'm gonna sing, in the middle of the storm” … “I raise a hallelujah, fear you lost your hold on me!” … and in that moment, I knew that was the exact song I needed to hear and at the exact time that I needed to hear it. I then realized I had let the fear of what happened in the last year at church affect me and affect my relationship with God. So… then I prayed, and prayed, and asked for forgiveness for not being the Christian I knew I needed to be, and for allowing other people’s actions to affect my love of going to church. That following Sunday I went to a new church, I started going back and trying out new churches, and getting back involved the way I knew I needed to be and the way I wanted to be. I know going to church doesn’t mean you are saved or not BUT you are able to worship, pray, and experience the holy spirit in God’s House. It’s the most amazing feeling. Going to church has always been such an amazing blessing, to me and I am forever thankful for this experience to take place in my life in order to get me where I needed to be today.
So… If you are someone who ever was burned within a church or your home church, I am here to tell you don’t let it change your outlook on all the other ones. Don’t let fear get the best of you. Don’t let actions of others affect your own relationship with God. I needed that wake up call more than ever. And even better God knew I needed that wake up call and presented it to me. We serve an amazing God.
- John 15:9
- Romans 5:8
- Isaiah 40:31
- Deuteronomy 31:6
And if this has ever happened to you, I am praying for you and I would love more than anything to take you to church sometime or love for you to just reach out to me. No judgement on any situation. No explanation. I would just love to tell you and talk to you about how much it gets better, and it will make you stronger in the end.
Comments